The Truth About Wedding Planning

Hi friends, it's been a minute. We've been through two holidays, a birthday, a new laptop (hello new MacBook Pro with the touch bar I keep hitting accidentally), a new camera, and our new niece! What better time to start this up again than when our lives are busier than ever seriously? I actually have quite a few posts that have been drafts that I just couldn't quite hit Publish on. This post has been one of the most cathartic to write actually. I'm certainly no expert on wedding planning. Vance and I have been engaged for almost a year and half now and we've been officially planning since May for our (surprise!) May 2017 weddings. It's weird that this feels taboo to write about because all the "top Bridal/Wedding Websites," always say don't post about how stressful the planning process is because...well they usually don't give a legitimate reason. So here we go, because at this point especially if you're planning your own wedding, you need to know the real truth about planning a wedding. 

1. It's a full time job. I'm literally not kidding. I should have created a whole separate email account for the number of emails, meeting requests, contracts, and nonsense I have piled up in my inbox. I feel like I talk to more people about florals, DJ's, plated dinners on the phone than I talk to my own mom. I don't know why I thought it would slow down once we finished touring venues, but it has only gotten worse. There's so many decisions from the big ones like guest lists to the kind of croutons to put on the salad. Can I get paid for this now because the number of hours I spend making spreadsheets and foiling save the dates should warrant a serious salary at this point?

2. It's expensive af. Am I being too crass? Probably, but you would be too if you saw an estimate of almost $20,000 on something that is mediocre at best. Every little thing adds up so SO fast. I now know why people elope. (We're in too deep at this point, kids.) The hardest part is explaining to Vance how much things cost and why, when I literally don't have a real reason why you're paying someone thousands of dollars to play music for people to dance to. 

3. It's awkward to talk about. And it's what everyone asks about and pretty much the only thing you ever do talk about, so that sucks. Everyone has opinions and everyone is going to tell you their opinion. There's also people who don't get invited and they ask you when they're getting their invite or in our case with two weddings, why they're not coming to our immediate family and wedding party only wedding weekend in San Diego. I wish we could have everyone, but see #3. We just can't and it doesn't make it easier for anyone when I get asked (or Vance or my parents get asked) about the plans and why things are being done like x-y-z. We don't want to hurt people's feelings either, but we have to do what's best in the long run for us and our families.

4. Planning a marriage is way more important than planning a wedding. This one hasn't ever been one that has been far from our minds thank goodness. While Vance wants to marry me, he'd be fine at a court house. I know that saint of a fiance of mine is going through this ridiculousness for me. For all the articles I've read, there's very few that put the emphasis on planning for the day after you get home from your honeymoon and you're married now and you're doing this thing for better or for worse. We went to pre marriage classes through our church because that was something that was important to me to start our foundation on the Biblical principals of marriage and what God has called us to do in our life together. We spent 9 weeks in a group setting talking about the really important foundations of a relationship and I couldn't recommend taking the time to do that because let's get real a wedding is one day (or two) and a marriage is a lifetime. Make sure you're on the same page with your significant other. 

5. Things will go "wrong" daily, weekly, monthly, all the time during the process. In the lovely 6 months of planning our wedding, this is a short list of the things I didn't plan for: deciding to have a ceremony in one state/reception in another, having my maid of honor quit my wedding via email, finding out they double booked our date, watching a machine that was foiling our save the dates start smoking, finding two new photographers, having my bridesmaids dresses ordered in the wrong color/size just to name a few. Here's the deal, meltdowns are going to happen. I've cried in my car more than a few times over planning this wedding. Again, I will say you to disillusioned brides like myself, it's just one day. You can't control everything about what's going to happen that day or even before. Vance has brought me down to earth with Starbucks and flowers on an occasion or two. Get yourself a good fiance (I hope you already have) and just be flexible. Trust me it's easier said than done, but you'll save yourself a few tears and bottles of wine if you just anticipate that your Type A personality can't plan for everything. 

6. The people that matter the most in your life will show up in big ways. This ties right back into #5 because the bridezilla crazy will come out when you're on the phone with the manufacturer of your bridesmaid dresses when you get a shipping confirmation for the color: Navy Crisp and they're supposed to be in the Show Me The Ring color. You'll vent to your bridesmaids, maid of honor, your mom, your future mother in law, and anyone else who will listen and they'll all at least act like they care. haha With no shortage of stress during wedding planning, people that love and care about you are going to be there for you. Your maid of honor will come over to cut tiny pieces of foil and drink wine with you after spending a whole day with you. They'll answer your fifty texts about the bachelorette party or what day they'll arrive in San Diego, so you give an accurate number for the hotel blocks. You know that phrase: "it takes a village to raise a child," well it takes a village to plan a wedding. I'm really lucky that I have a village of such amazing people. 

shout to my amazing MOH for planning what will be the best Bachelorette ever 

I didn't want this post to come off whiny. Even though I've been "wine-ing" a lot because of it, I'm grateful I get to plan this celebration of mine and Vance's marriage! Any tips from those of you who are newly married for me to make it through the next five months without losing my mind? Leave them in the comments!

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